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14-Year-Old Daughter Piercing Tongue Without Mom's Permissio
Mom on the forum is seeking advice: I just found out that my 14 year old daughter is planning to go behind my back to get her tongue pierced. I have expressly told her that I will not consent to this and she can do it when she's 18. I read a facebook message from her to a friend that she got a form from a piercing place that she can fill out (forge my signature) and bring a copy of my id and they will do the piercing. I'm not sure how to handle this. If I confront her directly about what I know, she will know that I read her facebook message. I've thought about calling piercing places in town and giving them her name/my name and let them know that if she comes in it is without my permission. Or do nothing, see if she goes through with it and then enforce a serious consequence. The issue isn't about whether or not a 14 year old should be able to have get a tongue piercing, but about her sneaking behind my back to do it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks much!
Denise's thoughts: Checking up on your daughter and reading a FaceBook message is not a crime. Forging your name and using your ID without permission is a crime. That isn't something you can fix without confronting her. She needs to know you will do what needs to be done to keep her from harming herself. That creates a firm foundation for her to grow on. She needs that for a positive self-esteem.
Talk to her, let her know you know and then call all of the places in town and tell her you've done that. Letting this go will only promote her going behind your back in the future.
Some resources from the site that will help:
Asking our parenting community: What would you do? Please share your thoughts, experiences and advice in the comments area.
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