FRENCH: About Parenting Teens: Mom of 17-Year-Old Single Mom Wants Her to Work

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From Denise Witmer, your Guide to Parenting Teens

Mom of 17-Year-Old Single Mom Wants Her to Get a Job

Dorothy seeks advice: I have a daughter who will be 18 in August, who also has a daughter who will be one in a couple of weeks. I have repeatedly told her she needs to get a job to help support her daughter. She has done only a few applications in the last 2 years. She is very smart and high honors in school she is due to graduate in about 5 days. I have helped her with caring for my granddaughter so she could finish school, guided her in regards to getting child support, etc. I have told her she cannot live with me if she is going to continue to not work. She says she is starting a class for her CNA, and then wants to go to Nursing school. That is all fine and well, but what about now???? I worry about kicking her out due to my granddaughter, and my own worries on some of her parenting skills. Any comments or suggestions would be helpful?

Denise's thoughts: I understand your frustration. When she gets a job she will be better able to support herself and her little one, taking that responsibility off of your shoulders. But, I think you may want to step back and take a look at the total picture. You have a motivated teen who wants something better for 'a job' then the local fast food chain. That is really a huge positive and shows some maturity for a 17-year-old. It will also help her not have to depend on you later because her job will make enough money for her to support her daughter, where as a job that does not require schooling may not. If you can afford to continue to help her through her classes for her CNA, I would do so, letting her know that you expect her to find a CNA job as soon as she is qualified. Then, she can work nursing school in and around that when the time comes.

As for getting a job right now, that is easier said then done these days and I'm not sure the money would be worth the aggravation of trying to fit in a part-time job with childcare and schooling, if she could even find one. Maybe ask her to do more around the house or she can offer services to friends like house sitting? I hope this helps and please let us know how it is going.

Asking our community of parents of teens: Is your teen graduating without a job for the summer? Are you going through a similar experience? Please share your thoughts, experiences and advice in the comments area.

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