About Parenting Teens: Teen Daughter's Boyfriend Thwarting College Plans

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Parenting Teens Parenting Teens Teens Today Community High School 101 From Denise Witmer, your Guide to Parenting Teens Teen Daughter's Boyfriend Thwarting College Plans Mom on the forum seeks advice: My daughter is on her way to college In January. She is 18. Her boyfriend is 22. He's at the same college. She will be going away to school. Her father and I are divorced yet we are both paying her way. Her boyfriend has been in residence for one year, and next year he is looking at getting his own place. He has convinced her to live with him. I think this is a crazy move. She has already started thinking about moving away six months early to work in the local vicinity of the school and to start "saving up" money for when she starts. She has talked about "setting up house" and "getting a cat in addition to other pets". Her focus is not on what it should be - her getting a college education, and looking to be independent and meeting new friends BEFORE she gets all serious in a common-law relationship with her boyfriend. I feel he is clingy and trying to sidetrack her plans. I feel she is caught between "having someone other than me - to take care of her" and "feeling independent by going away to school". Her mind has not been on finding a summer job locally. her mind is not on doing her absolute best at school. These are the days that are memory -making, and I feel she is depriving herself of a unique opportunity to explore the world by limiting herself to living with him - instead of residence, or in a dorm with other girls her age. She's 18 and I can't stop her but what do other teens AND parents think about this? Denise's thoughts: "I had a daughter in a similar situation last year. She also floated the idea of getting an apartment by me. I told her she could, but I would not be paying for school or the apartment. I simply know that school is about learning and I want her in the best place to do that learning if I am footing any of the bill. Treat your daughter like her an adult and give her all of the options then let her make her choices." Asking our parenting community: Have you had a high school student who wanted to jump into a relationship right after high school? Has your teen's friend ever thwarted their plans? Please share your experiences, thoughts and advice. Five Truths about Your Teen and Dating Teens need to learn many things while traveling through the life stage of adolescence. Help your teen learn about dating by knowing these five truths. Quiz: Do you spend enough time with your teen? Believe it or not, your teen wants to spend time with you. Not every day and not as best friends, but they wouldn't say no to a light conversation over a breakfast you've cooked. Talking to Your Teen About Today's Economy With the recession looming, our teens are rightfully worried. It is a good idea to talk to your teen about today's economy and how it affects your family. This is especially true if you're like most households that are turning to more frugal ways of living - something many of us were not doing when our teens were younger. You can ease your teen's concerns by talking with him using these five tips. Parenting of Adolescents Ads Parenting Help Parenting a Teenager Parenting Teens Unruly Teens Defiant Teens Featured Articles   More from About.com Disney Trip Planner Everything you need to plan the perfect Disney vacation -- from when to go and what to do, to saving money and picking a hotel. More > Join About.com's User Panel! Share your opinions and help us make About.com more relevant, informative and enjoyable to use. More> This newsletter is written by: Denise Witmer Parenting Teens Guide Email Me | My Blog | My Forum   Sign up for more free newsletters on your favorite topics You are receiving this newsletter because you subscribed to the About Parenting Teens newsletter. If you wish to change your email address or unsubscribe, please click here. About respects your privacy: Our Privacy Policy Contact Information: 249 West 17th Street New York, NY, 10011 © 2010 About.com   Must Reads How to Get Your Teen into College Is your teen confident? Find out now! How to Raise a Drug-Free Teen Help Your Teen Handle Peer Pressure Learn to Talk to Your Teen in 5 Days Advertisement