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Mom Found Drugs in Son's Room
A mom seeking advice: I was rummaging through my son's room looking for a disk he borrowed but never returned. On my search I found a a video case filled with cigarette papers, filters and a satchel of what looked like pot mixed with tobacco. I have said nothing to him about my find but destroyed all items and threw them in the bin. I don't know if I should say something to him or let him know what I found and that I was going through his room.
My son is 15yrs old and is generally a good-natured kid, very affectionate, talks to me about most things and trusts me to a certain extent. He is a happy kid often joking around and laughing who actively swims and plays the drums but spends a lot of time in his room watching movies or surfing the net. About 4 years ago my son and I left my abusive husband where my son was not only physically, mentally and verbally abused for 5yrs he also witnessed the affects of cocaine, speed and ecstasy abuse on a persons behavior and mental state which i will never forgive myself for not protecting him from. He has told me that he never wants to become like my ex husband or touch any of the stuff he was doing but this did not include pot.
At 13 he went to a party where peer pressure got the better of him and he joined in the alcoholic binge with his friends leaving him very sick and sorry for himself with months of trying to earn my trust again. But now with finding pot in his room I'm not sure which angle to take as not only will i loose his trust for privacy invasion but I don't want him to stop feeling like he can talk to me when he is in trouble.
Any advise would be helpful at this stage before it gets too bad.
Denise's thoughts: I think your son needs help from a professional who deals with helping teens with traumatic issues like physical and emotional abuse. The binge drinking and drug use are acting out behaviors which are telling you that he cannot do this alone.
Talk to him and stress that you are worried for him and you want him to talk to someone to help you feel less worried, in the hopes that he will be able to get the help he needs, but may not understand that he needs.
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Asking our community of parents: Have you ever found drugs in your teen's room? Have you taken your teen to a drug program? Please share your thoughts, advice and experiences in our comments section.
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