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Teen Son's Girlfriend Uses Drugs
A mom shares her concern for her teen son on the forum: "My 16-year-old son has just started dating a 16-year-old who is, according to my son's friends, using drugs and is very promiscuous (over sixteen partners already). Apparently she brags of this achievement to her friends. My son is a very smart kid (at least we thought so) and near the top of his class in school. He is however somewhat argumentative so I want to be sure to handle this properly.
I believe my son to have an addictive personality and fear this situation could lead him into very serious problems. I'm not sure how to approach the situation with out starting a conflict with my son and possibly driving him closer to this girl. We believe they have had sex and I'm worried this has reinforce his feelings for her. At this point he has no idea we know what we know about her. We've been able to obtain this info from more than one of his friends who also are concerned for him.
I suffered through addiction my self and know it is a long hard road. The drugs today are much more addictive than 30yrs ago and I'm not sure but, I probably wouldn't survived if I started now. This really magnifies my fears. How can I break these two up before it's too late?
Denise's thoughts: I'm sorry you are dealing with this issue with your son. This could be a huge problem for the two of you that ruins your relationship or it could just be a big problem that you work through. But, make no mistake, you will need to cause conflict with your son in order to help him. Not causing conflict with him should not be your goal, because that will not only destroy your relationship with him, it could also destroy him. Breaking up his relationship isn't a worthwhile goal, either.
The fact that your son has been argumentative, has a history of family addiction and is dating someone you know to be a drug user(warning signs of drug use), your concern needs to be his drug use and possible addiction. Here a few tips to start the balling rolling:
- Talk to him about what he feels the future holds for him and where his drug use fits into all of that.
- Remind him of you love and concern for him and his future.
- Get him help from either a doctor or a drug treatment center - or both.
Asking our community of parents of teenagers: Many parents face similar situations, as these problems do tend to go hand-in-hand. Has your teen dated someone you didn't like? Have you caught your teen using drugs? Please share your advice, opinion and experiences in our comments area.
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