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Teen Cutting for Attention?
A step-mom asks on our forum: My 12year old step daughter has been cutting herself. Not a huge amount, but we have seen her texts to friends saying that that is what she is doing. Shes definitely not hiding it. It seems to me like its attention seeking behavior. She is 12 but acts like 15. She wears low cut tops to show off her tits and plays her dad off against her mum. My partner falls for it most of the time as he can't say no to his kids. I see it as really just manipulating the situation. What should we do? Do we get hard or look to see if there is underlying issues? Everything I've read about cutting, the girls seem to be hiding it and ashamed to stuff, but with this one, the more attention the better. Any advice for me?
Denise's thoughts: I would start by creating some rules more appropriate for a 12-year-old instead of allowing her to act like a 15-year-old. Letting her know that there are many other positive ways to get your attention rather then doing things that that hurt her. Do more to create a positive relationship with her, giving her the attention she needs. We have some articles on cutting and self harm from our Troubled Teens Contributing Writer, Kathy Rudlin, LCSW:
Self-Injury Resources
The article I recommend you start with is Why do Teens Hurt Themselves with Self-Harming Behaviors?
If you find she is cutting more than you initially thought, you will want to ask her doctor for some help and resources. I hope it helps and please let us know how it is going. Asking our parenting community: Do you have a teen who has engaged in self-harm behaviors like cutting? How did your family handle it and where did you find help for your teen? Please share your advice and experiences in our comments area.
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