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Teen's 'Money for a Birthday Party' Expectations Too High
A mom on our forum asks: I have a 15 year old daughter who lives with her dad due to my illness. She is being raised by her dad with really high expectations from life. He lives large even though he really can't afford it. I am on disability and my daughter is well aware of my financial situation. She is planning on an extravagant birthday party for her sweet sixteen and she says if she doesn't have it the way she wants it, that she won't have a party. It's all or nothing. No compromises. Personally, I can't afford this party, and I know her dad can't either. I feel as her mom I should help her come up with an acceptable plan, but I can't get through to her. She says "I don't understand". I can either just let her not have a party but I am afriad that she will regret it in her future. I also can't go overboard and give her what she wants. It's not realistic for me. Does it make me a bad mom if I let her not have her party?
Denise's thoughts: Your teen's expectations are too high and you need to make that clear to her by telling her exactly how much she can spend and following through with just that amount. But before you do, you will need to emotionally detach yourself from whether or not your daughter has this party. She is using your guilt to try and get more money. If she chooses to not have a party that is her choice. More birthday parties will come in the future and she will learn a life lesson about money management that could save her in the future.
Asking our parenting teens community: How have you handled your teen's expectations when they get too high? Do your think our society creates these expectations for our kids? If so, how do you help your teen be realistic? Please share your thoughts, stories and advice in the comments area.
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